Daddy's Girl

i've been a daddy's girl all my life.. i think most girls are, something about genetics.. but in every girls life there comes a time when instead of your dad protecting you and taking care of you, you have to switch roles and be the care taker, the protector. at 21 i dont feel like we're quite there yet but i know its coming. my dad is disabled, itll be a matter of months, maybe a year before hes in a wheelchair.. my dad is my hero. my dad is the only reason i graduated high school. when i moved to north carolina with $500 in my pocket and ended up all alone in a scary place my dad bought a ticket and got me home again.. when i was little he taught me to write, writing is now my passion. i do it every day and i know that makes him proud. my dad is a brillant man with more knowledge then i thought an individual could hold. he reads lots of books and dearly misses his job at barnes and noble. when we go there together we spend hours, and hundreds of dollars on books. weve decidedly chosen not to jump on the kindle bandwagon because we are old fashion. we like our book store. we like the feel and the smell of books...
my dad let me move into my old room multiple times when eric deployed. it was a small room and it seemed like a closet once i had to share it with hailyn, and a catastrophe when it was me hailyn AND phenix. but it was home. if i'd get scared or hear something he'd take his old police flashlight (he was a cop for 33 years) and check the whole house just to make me feel better. we have so many beautiful memories together, and im starting to get scared because my daddy is hurting. hes in so much pain all the time and no one can help him.... im scared to loose him. whose going to help me when i get my first house and something goes wrong? whose going to give me insight and prospective when my kids do something mind blowingly stupid? i need my dad. im only 21 i still have a lot to learn, especially since i left home so young...what upsets me the most is someone is trying to get in the way of that. someone is trying to keep us apart. but as my wise father said "no one could do that. its not possible." still every night i write him a letter, i keep a big book of them & send it to him once a month. that way, even if im missing him, even if i couldnt hear his voice that day, i can still feel like i spoke to him that day...my dad has done so much for me in my lifetime, i could never accurately thank him.. i just hope that as my kids grow up they find within me the safety that i find in my dad. that feeling that if daddys here everything will be ok cuz he can fix anything.. not everyone has a dad like that.. i know im lucky.. but above all i am grateful...